My hands feel weak... pathetic... I happened to be interested in conducting for a while now... but some things or situations had happened... making me drop conducting... my arms still feel the surge of music through it... but... without the hand movement onli... my hands refused to move with the music anymore... i have no idea why... everytime i picked up a pen... i would pretend it is a baton... now? the pen i held in my hands had no effect... it appears heaven is against me from conducting... my hands are stripped from the ability to go with the flow now... i cant conduct... neither can i use the baton... i did something wrong today which made me regret... i took her baton, hoping there would be some feeling in my hands... but not onli was it a failure... i gt xin yu mad too... my hands are not fated to conduct... i see now...
The flame flickers slowly... disappearing without a trace...
10:34 PM
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It's Me
24th December 1993 (forget it)
Lousy at studies (I think...)
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